50 Petals of Pink
by NoxFox
Summary: Snape tries the best to woo his love this Valentine's but maybe he just isn't cracked up to be a romantic. Lighthearted parody with Snape/Dumbledore.


Snape, having hastily thrown two red, heart shaped cushions into his basket, now faced a dilemma.

It was the rose petals.

They came in so many bloody colours! Amaranth, burgundy, magenta, cerise, crimson and raspberry. Each one suggested a different tone of love. Would his true love like a light raspberry shade, to suggest playfulness or a deep burgundy to really get his broomstick going this Valentines?

He grabbed a nearby lady, furrowing his brow and looking concerned.

'I'm sorry to bother you Madam but you remind me of the love of my life. Could you please advise me as to which rose petals you would truly find satisfying?'

In quick succession, the lady shot him a look of utmost concern, pointed at a random shade of rose petal and shot off down the aisle faster than Dobby spotting a sock.

'Magenta it is.'

* * *

Snape arrived back at his quarters, breathless and dazed by the dozen or so perfumes which he had smelled in the last store. He'd picked the most floral shade, with cotton musk base notes and passion fruit top notes, to adorn his soon to be beautiful boudoir.

Stepping into the room, he raised his arm in the air, spraying the perfume liberally, especially onto his pillows. He then artistically threw the two heart-shaped cushions onto his bed. They landed with a satisfying oomph sound, one which he certainly hoped he'd be hearing more of tonight! Finally, he lightly skipped around the bed, profusely scattering rose petals.

'Damn. I've truly outdone myself this year,' Snape smirked. Moments later he heard a tentative rap on the door.

He briefly panicked, straightening his hair, which he had washed earlier that day. There was always a first time for everything. He pulled open the door and stared into his lover's eyes. Crystal blue, just like the teddy bear he had placed on his chest of drawers that afternoon.

'Honey buns,' Dumbledore winked suggestively.

'Studmuffin,' Snape said embracing Albus, whilst kicking the door shut behind them, overbalancing and landing right on top of Dumbledore, their lips but millimetres apart. Snape quickly leapt up, trying to disguise the flush in his now red cheeks and also the other now red part of him hidden beneath his robes…

Dumbledore held out one of his magnificently crafted hands out to Snape. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his life, each crooked finger sending shivers up his spine.

'Could you pull me up dearest, my knee is not what it used to be. Though I'm sure you know what is?' Dumbledore raised an eyebrow teasingly.

Snape pulled him up and took him hand-in-hand towards the bedroom.

'Now I know you cooked dinner for me last year, so I thought this time I'd provide dessert.' He grinned devilishly.

'Oh darling, it's marvellous and those magenta rose petals are simply…'

Snape never did find out just how perfect the shade of rose petals were as he cut his love off, planting a kiss on his beautiful lips. His crotch burned more than ever, though with desire or that funny rash he'd had for the last two days: he didn't know. Dumbledore returned the kiss with great gusto, flipping his hair and beard behind him then dramatically throwing them both onto what Snape now liked to call the bed of lust.

They writhed about aimlessly for a few moments, trying to tear off each other's robes before realising that it was impossible to do horizontally and that Snape now seemed to be wearing more of Dumbledore's robe than Dumbledore was. They stood up and took their robes off on opposite sides of the bed. Dumbledore taking a little while longer, due to his arthritic joints.

'HolyMerlinCirceMorganAndTheCrew!' Snape breathed. The man was hung like a dragon.

'Is that it?' Was Dumbledore's response to Snape's disrobing. He looked bemused as his eyes roved around Snape's lower half.

'What did you expect? A bloody rose bouquet?' Snape replied harshly.

'You already seem to have provided one, albeit in pieces,'

'Fine! Fine! That's it. I've had enough.' Snape shouted, storming out of the bedroom and then his quarter's stark bollock naked.

'Well, it's not too late. There's always Filch…' Dumbledore mused, as he heard the cackling yells of Peeves following Snape down the corridor.

* * *

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this bit of fun ready in time for Valentine's!**


End file.
